Republic of Angola (Xyami): The BridgeMaker

Monday, December 22, 2008

The BridgeMaker

Posted: 22 Dec 2008 04:49 AM CST

"525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life? - from the song Seasons of Love by Jonathan Larson

The last days in December are for measuring. We measure this Christmas with the Christmases from our childhood. Our holiday traditions are honored and duplicated because we find comfort in the familiar.

After the excitement of Christmas is over, we turn our attention to a broader unit of measurement - trying to measure the year. This is when we attempt to take an inventory of where we have been and how we have been changed along the way.

2008 was a time of change and growth for my family. Mary Beth earned her Master's degree and then unexpectedly lost her father a few weeks later; our oldest son, Brandon, graduated from college and went on to create a life on his terms; Caitlin changed from a restless teenager to a young woman with a determined focus and passion for life; Andrew, for the first time, acknowledged his fears; and our youngest, Emily, found her niche and is beginning to claim her individuality.

I saw change, too. I'm beginning to realize my value and understand the power I have to be a person of choice. After 46 years, I'm ready to heal my wounds, once and for all, and acknowledge what they have cost me in the past. Through my writing, I'm finding my voice – one full of confidence and hope for the future.

On Thursday, all six of us will be together again. It will be a time to celebrate our family traditions. No doubt we will reflect on the year and try to apply some unit of measurement to it. We will talk about the significance of what happened and how we can use the events to help us keep growing and continue learning how to become the people we are destined to become.

When we sit down to dinner on Christmas day Mary Beth will look to me to lead our family in prayer. In an odd sort of way our family has been separated from one another this year. The issues we have confronted have been personal ones. Our energy, and our attention, has been focused inward and we have had little energy to share with others.

But the best part of being a family is when we take the time for some self-care, the others understand all they have to do is to ask for some help and it will be given. Our children also understand no matter the issues Mary Beth and I are facing, their needs will always come before our own.

When I look around the table I will see change. I will see five people who aren't settling for a life that is just good enough. Growth is hard work and it can be uncomfortable. However, Christmas Day will take us back to each other – back to the familiar and back to the comfortable, if only for a little while. For one more day we will laugh and share and remember the best way to measure a year is to measure it in love.

This is my benediction for the year. It's a bridge to connect where we have been this past year to where we are going in the new one. It offers some sense, and promise, that no matter what happens in our lives we can always find value and purpose in the circumstance.

May we continue to realize how precious life is and take the time to enjoy the gifts we receive every day.

May we remember life is wonderful, even when it hurts.

May we always keep in mind that life is for learning, growing and changing.

May we keep our hearts open to love and find ways to share our hearts with those who will cherish it.

May we find the inspiration to keep hope alive and our faith strong no matter what.

May we remember that we do control our power; it's not for others to take – it's ours to give, but only to those we choose.

May we give ourselves grace and compassion and continue to heal from shame.

May we take the time to listen to our children and make the commitment that, no matter what happened to us when we were a child, it is now our responsibility to break the cycle; end the pain and give love unconditionally.

May our wounds continue to heal as we keep them from hurting others.

May we admit our weaknesses and acknowledge our temptations.

May we continue to focus on what's important and know that true abundance is best measured by the love we share.

May we reconnect with those we have neglected or taken for granted and may we be given the words that will bring healing.

May we use this day, right now, to be happy, to enjoy all we have; may we offer forgiveness to those who have hurt us and tell those closest to us how much we love them.

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